PIEn. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains.
—The Rev. Dr. Mucker, in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman

Cold pie is a detestable
American comestible.
That’s why I’m done — or undone —
So far from that dear London.
—From the Headstone of a British Nobleman, in Kalamazoo