DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number — just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice. Following is the revised edition of the Decalogue, calculated for this meridian.
- Thou shalt no God but me adore:
‘Twere too expensive to have more.
- No images nor idols make
For Robert Ingersoll to break.
- Take not God’s name in vain; select
A time when it will have effect.
- Work not on Sabbath days at all,
But go to see the teams play ball.
- Honor thy parents. That creates
For life insurance lower rates.
- Kill not, abet not those who kill;
Thou shalt not pay thy butcher’s bill.
- Kiss not thy neighbor’s wife, unless
Thine own thy neighbor doth caress.
- Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete
Successfully in business. Cheat.
- Bear not false witness — that is low —
But “hear ’tis rumored so and so.”
- Covet thou naught that thou hast not
By hook or crook, or somehow, got.