DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number — just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice. Following is the revised edition of the Decalogue, calculated for this meridian.
- Thou shalt no God but me adore:
‘Twere too expensive to have more. - No images nor idols make
For Robert Ingersoll to break. - Take not God’s name in vain; select
A time when it will have effect. - Work not on Sabbath days at all,
But go to see the teams play ball. - Honor thy parents. That creates
For life insurance lower rates. - Kill not, abet not those who kill;
Thou shalt not pay thy butcher’s bill. - Kiss not thy neighbor’s wife, unless
Thine own thy neighbor doth caress. - Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete
Successfully in business. Cheat. - Bear not false witness — that is low —
But “hear ’tis rumored so and so.” - Covet thou naught that thou hast not
By hook or crook, or somehow, got.
—G.J.